Hi there! I’m CoraBeth Collins, a 21-year-old from Kentucky. I live with several chronic conditions, including hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (hEDS), Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), Median Arcuate Ligament Syndrome (MALS), Gastroparesis, Slipping Rib Syndrome, and Pelvic Floor Dysfunction. I use an ambulatory wheelchair and am also the founder of Letters of Love by CB, a nonprofit that sends handwritten letters to people with chronic illnesses worldwide. I share my journey to raise awareness and remind others in this community that they’re never alone.
Let’s be honest: the holidays can be overwhelming. When you add a chronic illness to the mix, it can feel like a juggling act you didn’t sign up for. Family gatherings, endless questions, and the pressure to “keep up” can be exhausting. However, over the years, I’ve learned a few strategies for surviving the holidays with my health (and sanity) intact.
1. When People Don’t Get It
One of the hardest aspects of having a chronic illness is its invisibility. You attend a family event and hear, “You look great!” (Thanks, but looks can be deceiving.) Or worse, you might hear, “But you don’t look sick,” as if that invalidates everything you’re dealing with. It used to frustrate me, but I’ve come to understand that most people don’t mean to hurt me—they simply don’t understand.
Sometimes, I’ll explain my situation in a comfortable way, like saying, “It’s a good day, but I have to pace myself.” Other times, I choose to smile and let it go. Protecting my peace is more important than making everyone understand.
2. The Never-Ending Expectations
The holidays come with so many expectations: attending every party, helping with every dish, and playing every game. However, chronic illness doesn’t take a holiday. If anything, it becomes harder to manage when everyone around you is running at full speed.
I’ve learned that it’s okay to set boundaries. If I can’t make it to every event, that’s fine. If I need to leave early or sit out an activity, that’s okay too. The people who love you will understand, and if they don’t? That’s on them, not you.
3. The “Have You Tried…” Crowd
We all have that one relative who suddenly becomes a medical expert after hearing about your condition. “Have you tried this new supplement? My friend’s cousin swears by it!” Ugh.
I used to feel pressured to justify or explain why their suggestions weren’t helpful. Now, I simply say, “Thanks for thinking of me! I’m already working with my doctors.” This keeps the conversation brief and reminds them that I control my care.
4. Guilt Hits Hard
If you’re like me, guilt can be a constant companion during the holidays. You may feel guilty for missing events, not helping enough, or not being the person you wish you could be. If allowed, that guilt can drain all the joy from the season.
What has helped me is focusing on the small things I can do. Maybe it’s texting a loved one I can’t see or spending quiet moments with my family. Those moments may seem small, but they matter. You matter.
5. Making the Holidays Work for You
Some traditions no longer fit into my life, and that’s perfectly okay. Instead of forcing myself to do everything, I’ve started creating new traditions that work for me. A cozy movie night, decorating cookies at my own pace, or simply enjoying quiet moments with my family can be meaningful. It doesn’t have to resemble a Hallmark movie to be special.
6. Be Gentle with Yourself
The holidays can be challenging, but so are we. Remember, you’re allowed to say no. You’re allowed to rest. You’re allowed to prioritize yourself. And if things don’t go perfectly, that’s okay too.
To everyone navigating this season with a chronic illness: you’re not alone. We’re in this together, and you’re doing fantastic. Wishing you moments of peace, joy, and rest this holiday season!
Follow CoraBeth on Instagram to learn more about her journey.
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